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P. 7
I live in the US and am a data analyst. Very few people know that I attempted
suicide. Fortunately I couldn‘t do it then and delayed the idea by a few
seconds. Each time I would delay it, my mind would change.
I was very good in studies and was a school topper. I used to get only
appreciation from all. Things changed when I came to Hyderabad in the
summer of 1997 for my coaching. My expectations were very high and I used
to study for 16 hours a day. I didn‘t get marks as per my expectations. Because
of my introvert nature, I didn‘t know how to mingle, speak or behave with
people. I felt a strange emptiness in my stomach. My breath was shallow and I
suffered from a lack of concentration. I broke down often. I left my classes and
returned home.
My mother was very worried and she took me to a doctor. The doctor
concluded after observing all my symptoms that I was suffering from a
psychological disorder called depression. We had no idea what exactly it was.
Over a period of time, it got worse.
But I would put up a brave front because my parents were worried about my
condition. There were days when I would feel okay, but at times, within a day,
there was a roller-coaster of emotions. I used to forget routes and bus
numbers in which I had travelled previously. My family helped me to
overcome this situation and somehow, I managed to get admission in a
pharmacy course.
There is shame and stigma attached to openly talking about depression. We
talk about all kinds of ailments but this is probably one of the deadliest mental
illnesses.
-Jagdish
I had a nasty fight with my close friends of two years and ended up upset and
depressed. My only help were books.
-Adyasha Nayak
4
suicide. Fortunately I couldn‘t do it then and delayed the idea by a few
seconds. Each time I would delay it, my mind would change.
I was very good in studies and was a school topper. I used to get only
appreciation from all. Things changed when I came to Hyderabad in the
summer of 1997 for my coaching. My expectations were very high and I used
to study for 16 hours a day. I didn‘t get marks as per my expectations. Because
of my introvert nature, I didn‘t know how to mingle, speak or behave with
people. I felt a strange emptiness in my stomach. My breath was shallow and I
suffered from a lack of concentration. I broke down often. I left my classes and
returned home.
My mother was very worried and she took me to a doctor. The doctor
concluded after observing all my symptoms that I was suffering from a
psychological disorder called depression. We had no idea what exactly it was.
Over a period of time, it got worse.
But I would put up a brave front because my parents were worried about my
condition. There were days when I would feel okay, but at times, within a day,
there was a roller-coaster of emotions. I used to forget routes and bus
numbers in which I had travelled previously. My family helped me to
overcome this situation and somehow, I managed to get admission in a
pharmacy course.
There is shame and stigma attached to openly talking about depression. We
talk about all kinds of ailments but this is probably one of the deadliest mental
illnesses.
-Jagdish
I had a nasty fight with my close friends of two years and ended up upset and
depressed. My only help were books.
-Adyasha Nayak
4
