Page 10 - SMJ
P. 10
Still in the CloSet
STILL IN THE CLOSET
“Everybody thinks I am straight.”
I am 19 years old and my being gay is a secret I have kept to myself till
this day. I don’t know why but it feels like immense pressure is building
up inside of me. I am ready to explode any minute. I pride myself on
being emotionally strong but now it feels like my defences are failing. I
don’t want any innocent girl to get emotionally attached to me.
After seeing your episode, I felt that I should at least tell someone about
my sexuality but I am scared that the person I talk to will disclose the
truth to others and no one will see me in the same way after that. But I
have to do it. I have to take the risk and I thank you for giving me this
courage. I hope and pray that I find someone right in front of whom I
can show my vulnerable inner self.
Andre
I am 22 years old and I am gay. I finished my B.Tech. this year and
joined a software firm. I am still in the closet and feel sad that I haven’t
told my friends and family my secret. I always wanted to come out and
be myself. Being in the closet is taking my energy away and lowering
my confidence. I have been a source of pride for my parents and I am
convinced that I need to tell them and will do so soon. After all, my
happiness is what my parents want. No parent would like to see their
child suffer all through their life.
Since I haven’t told anyone about my sexuality, everybody thinks that
I am straight. It’s the case with other gay men too. Family and friends
don’t realise the trauma that one undergoes when one is in the closet. I
have realised that it is better to keep things simple. Be myself and live
my dreams and help the nation with my skills. I don’t want to be in this
constant struggle of denial and waste my time.
10
STILL IN THE CLOSET
“Everybody thinks I am straight.”
I am 19 years old and my being gay is a secret I have kept to myself till
this day. I don’t know why but it feels like immense pressure is building
up inside of me. I am ready to explode any minute. I pride myself on
being emotionally strong but now it feels like my defences are failing. I
don’t want any innocent girl to get emotionally attached to me.
After seeing your episode, I felt that I should at least tell someone about
my sexuality but I am scared that the person I talk to will disclose the
truth to others and no one will see me in the same way after that. But I
have to do it. I have to take the risk and I thank you for giving me this
courage. I hope and pray that I find someone right in front of whom I
can show my vulnerable inner self.
Andre
I am 22 years old and I am gay. I finished my B.Tech. this year and
joined a software firm. I am still in the closet and feel sad that I haven’t
told my friends and family my secret. I always wanted to come out and
be myself. Being in the closet is taking my energy away and lowering
my confidence. I have been a source of pride for my parents and I am
convinced that I need to tell them and will do so soon. After all, my
happiness is what my parents want. No parent would like to see their
child suffer all through their life.
Since I haven’t told anyone about my sexuality, everybody thinks that
I am straight. It’s the case with other gay men too. Family and friends
don’t realise the trauma that one undergoes when one is in the closet. I
have realised that it is better to keep things simple. Be myself and live
my dreams and help the nation with my skills. I don’t want to be in this
constant struggle of denial and waste my time.
10
