Page 6 - SMJ
P. 6
Coming out to my family
Months passed by without us being intimate. When I discussed my
problem with our families, he took me for a holiday to Jaipur and was
intimate with me. When we returned, he went back to being distant.
When I asked his family for help, they called me sexually unfit and
said that I was not allowing him to touch me. They even took me to
get some medical scans done from a doctor they knew. I pleaded that
he should also get tests done. By then, he had shifted to Delhi for a job
and he got a medical report from Delhi that stated that he was perfectly
alright.
In the meantime, since I have a government job, I was staying at my
hometown. My husband used to visit me just once a week. I thought
that a second divorce would just destroy me so I adjusted with him. I
tried to take him to a doctor again but he of course never agreed.
Two years passed by and many things happened that pointed to him
being homosexual. He even told me once that he felt pukish when he
touched me. I can’t even explain how miserable I felt then.
One day my brother read some of my husband’s online chats with other
men and discovered that he was gay. All that I wanted him to say to me
about love and togetherness was said by him to a man. I even have a
copy of the same with me. I might have read it like some 1000 times,
but it broke me from inside equally every time I read it. I found that his
family knew he was gay but to maintain their reputation, they had not
told me or my family. I was their prey.
I separated from him and now live with my father. He is a retired man
but he is my only lifeline. My husband is a free soul now but what about
me? What was my fault? Since the last 1.5 years, he has not even called
or messaged me once. I am neither married nor divorced nor single.
What is my status today?
Prachi
6
Months passed by without us being intimate. When I discussed my
problem with our families, he took me for a holiday to Jaipur and was
intimate with me. When we returned, he went back to being distant.
When I asked his family for help, they called me sexually unfit and
said that I was not allowing him to touch me. They even took me to
get some medical scans done from a doctor they knew. I pleaded that
he should also get tests done. By then, he had shifted to Delhi for a job
and he got a medical report from Delhi that stated that he was perfectly
alright.
In the meantime, since I have a government job, I was staying at my
hometown. My husband used to visit me just once a week. I thought
that a second divorce would just destroy me so I adjusted with him. I
tried to take him to a doctor again but he of course never agreed.
Two years passed by and many things happened that pointed to him
being homosexual. He even told me once that he felt pukish when he
touched me. I can’t even explain how miserable I felt then.
One day my brother read some of my husband’s online chats with other
men and discovered that he was gay. All that I wanted him to say to me
about love and togetherness was said by him to a man. I even have a
copy of the same with me. I might have read it like some 1000 times,
but it broke me from inside equally every time I read it. I found that his
family knew he was gay but to maintain their reputation, they had not
told me or my family. I was their prey.
I separated from him and now live with my father. He is a retired man
but he is my only lifeline. My husband is a free soul now but what about
me? What was my fault? Since the last 1.5 years, he has not even called
or messaged me once. I am neither married nor divorced nor single.
What is my status today?
Prachi
6
