Page 24 - SMJ
P. 24
Gay and Happy
My family lives in Nandurbar. I requested my mother to watch the
episode and added that I have a message for her. After watching the show,
I couldn’t gather the courage to tell her the truth then, but a few hours
later, I asked her how she’d react if her son told her he was gay.
She said, “Don’t worry, kuch bhi ho, tu mera beta hai. I’m there for you.”
I was speechless. Had not expected this response at all. This is a big deal
for me. She told me that when I go home next, she will help me come out
to my father.
Nadim
I was married for some years and I have children as well. Even though my
husband and I lived under the same roof, it never felt like we lived together.
Later in my life, I embraced my sexuality and I was in a relationship with a
woman for 15 years. I lived with her and had a peaceful time. My children
are also supportive of my sexuality. My son-in-law and his family have also
accepted me and I am touched by their support. I managed to overcome
problems with my own strength. I am happy that I lived life on my terms.
Sabina
Being gay, lexicons tell us, means to be happy. In India, it often means
the opposite. For far too many, to be gay is to live a shadowed life—of
unhappiness, depression, fear and stigma. But there are exceptions and my
story is perhaps one of those. At 33, I am out, and have been so for almost
7 years. My parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins—all
those who matter—have accepted me and love me for who I am. It is an
unlikely story but I am writing to say that it’s possible, even in India.
Coming out is never easy; it wasn’t for me either. I did so in phases. I
told my siblings. They told our parents—first mom and then dad.
Understandably, it wasn’t easy for them. The early months were perhaps
those of disappointment and hope. Disappointment at the prospect of
a son who wouldn’t marry (a woman), and hope that he would change
enough to make a marriage possible.
24
My family lives in Nandurbar. I requested my mother to watch the
episode and added that I have a message for her. After watching the show,
I couldn’t gather the courage to tell her the truth then, but a few hours
later, I asked her how she’d react if her son told her he was gay.
She said, “Don’t worry, kuch bhi ho, tu mera beta hai. I’m there for you.”
I was speechless. Had not expected this response at all. This is a big deal
for me. She told me that when I go home next, she will help me come out
to my father.
Nadim
I was married for some years and I have children as well. Even though my
husband and I lived under the same roof, it never felt like we lived together.
Later in my life, I embraced my sexuality and I was in a relationship with a
woman for 15 years. I lived with her and had a peaceful time. My children
are also supportive of my sexuality. My son-in-law and his family have also
accepted me and I am touched by their support. I managed to overcome
problems with my own strength. I am happy that I lived life on my terms.
Sabina
Being gay, lexicons tell us, means to be happy. In India, it often means
the opposite. For far too many, to be gay is to live a shadowed life—of
unhappiness, depression, fear and stigma. But there are exceptions and my
story is perhaps one of those. At 33, I am out, and have been so for almost
7 years. My parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins—all
those who matter—have accepted me and love me for who I am. It is an
unlikely story but I am writing to say that it’s possible, even in India.
Coming out is never easy; it wasn’t for me either. I did so in phases. I
told my siblings. They told our parents—first mom and then dad.
Understandably, it wasn’t easy for them. The early months were perhaps
those of disappointment and hope. Disappointment at the prospect of
a son who wouldn’t marry (a woman), and hope that he would change
enough to make a marriage possible.
24
