Page 5 - index
P. 5
These honest and sympathetically made episodes of SJ opened a Pandora’s Box. Those suffering silently
felt there was someone who understood them and felt their pain. They felt encouraged to break their
silence and thousands wrote to SJ and shared their stories.
I was part of two episodes of SJ, one on domestic violence and the other on violent masculinity and the
harm patriarchal thinking and practices do to boys and men. Even I received dozens of emails and
phone calls from women who were facing violence. I was amazed and delighted when people, both
women and men, not only in India but in other countries, recognised me as someone who was in SJ and
told me that they liked my views.
The huge popularity of SJ episodes on violence and discrimination bears testimony to the fact that a lot
of people actually oppose violence and patriarchal mindset. They know this is wrong and they want to do
something about it. All they need is courage and support from others. Some of this is happening, as we
can see in the increasing number of reported cases of sexual harassment and rape.
Urgent Need to Transform our Families
Government policies, laws, courts and police must, of course, change and they have been changing.
Public places must also be made safe for girls and women but it is the family which needs to change,
most of all, and change urgently. It is in our homes that girls and women need to be respected, loved and
empowered. In addition to equal access to nutrition, health, education and property, girls need freedom,
independence, dignity and mobility. They need to know that marriage is not the only goal of their life.
They need to know that if their marriage does not work out, if there is violence in it, they can come back
home.
Our families also need to teach boys to be gentle, caring and loving. Boys must be taught to do
household care work so that they can be independent and also be able to share household work with
their life partners. Stereotyping of both girls and boys needs to stop because it harms them. Both boys
and girls must be educated to be breadwinners and breadmakers. Only if women and girls are free can
men and boys be free, because they live together. The struggle for gender equality is not a struggle
between men and women at all, it is a struggle between two mindsets - one believes men are superior to
women and the other believes men and women are and should be equal. On both sides there are men
and women.
Fortunately, our Constitution believes in Equality. Therefore, patriarchy needs to be declared illegal,
against the Constitution. Come, let us all work to implement our Constitution!
Kamla Bhasin
2
felt there was someone who understood them and felt their pain. They felt encouraged to break their
silence and thousands wrote to SJ and shared their stories.
I was part of two episodes of SJ, one on domestic violence and the other on violent masculinity and the
harm patriarchal thinking and practices do to boys and men. Even I received dozens of emails and
phone calls from women who were facing violence. I was amazed and delighted when people, both
women and men, not only in India but in other countries, recognised me as someone who was in SJ and
told me that they liked my views.
The huge popularity of SJ episodes on violence and discrimination bears testimony to the fact that a lot
of people actually oppose violence and patriarchal mindset. They know this is wrong and they want to do
something about it. All they need is courage and support from others. Some of this is happening, as we
can see in the increasing number of reported cases of sexual harassment and rape.
Urgent Need to Transform our Families
Government policies, laws, courts and police must, of course, change and they have been changing.
Public places must also be made safe for girls and women but it is the family which needs to change,
most of all, and change urgently. It is in our homes that girls and women need to be respected, loved and
empowered. In addition to equal access to nutrition, health, education and property, girls need freedom,
independence, dignity and mobility. They need to know that marriage is not the only goal of their life.
They need to know that if their marriage does not work out, if there is violence in it, they can come back
home.
Our families also need to teach boys to be gentle, caring and loving. Boys must be taught to do
household care work so that they can be independent and also be able to share household work with
their life partners. Stereotyping of both girls and boys needs to stop because it harms them. Both boys
and girls must be educated to be breadwinners and breadmakers. Only if women and girls are free can
men and boys be free, because they live together. The struggle for gender equality is not a struggle
between men and women at all, it is a struggle between two mindsets - one believes men are superior to
women and the other believes men and women are and should be equal. On both sides there are men
and women.
Fortunately, our Constitution believes in Equality. Therefore, patriarchy needs to be declared illegal,
against the Constitution. Come, let us all work to implement our Constitution!
Kamla Bhasin
2
