Page 50 - index
P. 50
UK. Every visit to India stresses me since our relatives behave oddly with me just because I don’t have a
child yet. Plus, they keep talking about a male child. All this is so depressing.
-Tarika
--
I am the oldest of four girls out of which two did not survive because they were weak and did not receive
nourishment. The reason I was born healthy is because my mother was sent back to her parents’ home
after four months of her wedding after being tortured for dowry. My mother’s husband (I refuse to
address the man as ‘father’) accused my mother of not being able to bear him a son and said that’s why
he had to look outside. He has been living with another woman since 1977.
I grew up in an abusive environment where alcohol-fuelled violence was the norm. My mother lived in
that environment for 20 years to give my sister and me the notion of a family. My mother channelised
all her energy in providing us with good education and instilling the spirit of independence. I graduated
in 1991 and the same year, I helped my mother to walk out of the abusive marriage.
I have been living abroad since 2003. Whilst watching your programme, I felt a sense of loss and
disappointment. I asked myself, “From my childhood to where I am today, at the age of 41, what has
changed in my country?”
-Abhilasha
--
A colleague who worked at a government hospital in Delhi told this incident to me. A very ill female
infant was brought to the paediatric department. Doctors couldn’t make out the cause. On doing a
laryngoscopy, a few stones were found in the airway. The obvious cause was a case of attempted
infanticide. According to the protocol in a government hospital, such cases should be reported to the
police. But the unit in-charge, a female, made sure the residents didn’t report as these police and court
matters were ‘troublesome’.
The residents (my friend was amongst them) cared for the baby. One night, during night duty, my friend
suspected something and went to the ICU to find the baby gasping again. A relative was standing beside
the baby which was unusual. They later found marks on her neck which were not present before,
suggestive of asphyxiation. Still, the unit in-charge refused to file a report. Finally, after battling with
death for nearly ten days, she died. The said unit in-charge personally filled the death certificate (a task
reserved for first-year residents).
My friend, being a resident, didn’t dare to go against the in-charge and complain. She had the pictures
of the infant though which I saw. I didn’t want to land her in trouble but it still weighs upon my
conscience heavily. I have known doctors who call other doctors to send the patients or samples for sex
determination with their ‘cut’ included.
-Tabu
--
You are not aware of the reality that half of our population is facing. Parents need a boy who can make
their life easier after 60. Infanticide should be encouraged but with strict rules. I have seen many
families who are at the mercy of others as they do not have any boy. All girls can’t help their parents as
they are either struggling with their own life or are afraid of their husband. If sex determination would
be allowed, then people would have small and happy families.
-Arvind
47
child yet. Plus, they keep talking about a male child. All this is so depressing.
-Tarika
--
I am the oldest of four girls out of which two did not survive because they were weak and did not receive
nourishment. The reason I was born healthy is because my mother was sent back to her parents’ home
after four months of her wedding after being tortured for dowry. My mother’s husband (I refuse to
address the man as ‘father’) accused my mother of not being able to bear him a son and said that’s why
he had to look outside. He has been living with another woman since 1977.
I grew up in an abusive environment where alcohol-fuelled violence was the norm. My mother lived in
that environment for 20 years to give my sister and me the notion of a family. My mother channelised
all her energy in providing us with good education and instilling the spirit of independence. I graduated
in 1991 and the same year, I helped my mother to walk out of the abusive marriage.
I have been living abroad since 2003. Whilst watching your programme, I felt a sense of loss and
disappointment. I asked myself, “From my childhood to where I am today, at the age of 41, what has
changed in my country?”
-Abhilasha
--
A colleague who worked at a government hospital in Delhi told this incident to me. A very ill female
infant was brought to the paediatric department. Doctors couldn’t make out the cause. On doing a
laryngoscopy, a few stones were found in the airway. The obvious cause was a case of attempted
infanticide. According to the protocol in a government hospital, such cases should be reported to the
police. But the unit in-charge, a female, made sure the residents didn’t report as these police and court
matters were ‘troublesome’.
The residents (my friend was amongst them) cared for the baby. One night, during night duty, my friend
suspected something and went to the ICU to find the baby gasping again. A relative was standing beside
the baby which was unusual. They later found marks on her neck which were not present before,
suggestive of asphyxiation. Still, the unit in-charge refused to file a report. Finally, after battling with
death for nearly ten days, she died. The said unit in-charge personally filled the death certificate (a task
reserved for first-year residents).
My friend, being a resident, didn’t dare to go against the in-charge and complain. She had the pictures
of the infant though which I saw. I didn’t want to land her in trouble but it still weighs upon my
conscience heavily. I have known doctors who call other doctors to send the patients or samples for sex
determination with their ‘cut’ included.
-Tabu
--
You are not aware of the reality that half of our population is facing. Parents need a boy who can make
their life easier after 60. Infanticide should be encouraged but with strict rules. I have seen many
families who are at the mercy of others as they do not have any boy. All girls can’t help their parents as
they are either struggling with their own life or are afraid of their husband. If sex determination would
be allowed, then people would have small and happy families.
-Arvind
47
