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P. 60
I have been waiting since 13 years for permission to marry my boyfriend. My family is not ready to
accept him and I won’t go against them.
-Saadiyah
--
My father told my husband before our wedding that he would kill me. As a result, my husband got afraid
and suggested that we get married secretly. After we got married, my in-laws accepted me fully but the
resistance still continued from my parents’ side.
For the past eight years now, we have no relationship except that I call them up and ask them about
their health. Both my husband and I were well-established engineers even before we got married. None
of my relatives wanted to help me before or after the wedding as my father is supposedly a rich man in
his circle. My father thinks I have no right to comment on his decisions.
-Asmi
--
After three years of being in a relationship with my colleague, I told her mother that I wanted to marry
her daughter. I also told her that my family is a well-educated family and that I work in a well-known IT
company and earn a good salary.
Her mother asked me about my caste and was shocked when I said ‘Chambhar’. They are Brahmins.
When she heard that word, her behaviour towards me changed. She said, “How dare you think about
marrying my daughter? You may be a friend but it doesn’t mean that you can marry her. We don’t
believe in untouchability but our society will not treat us well if both of you marry. You and your family
might be celebrating that a Brahmin girl is coming to your family.”
In my whole life, I had never experienced untouchability. Also, I never thought that people from
Chambhar community can be considered low for working on things like shoe-making. I don’t
understand what the hell is wrong with the word ‘Chambhar’ that makes so many of us ‘untouchable’. I
will struggle to marry her and put in all the effort. I will not marry her without my and her family’s
permission because a family includes parents and relatives, not only husband and wife.
-Ajay
--
I am a government bank employee from Delhi aged 27. I belong to the so-called Kumbhar caste and the
girl I love belongs to the so-called Tyagi family. Our nine-year-old friendship is full of compassion,
understanding and love. But the girl’s family is not ready to accept me even though her parents are
educated. We have requested them a lot but there is no mercy for both of us.
-Rohit
--
I am 24 years old and I live in Canada. I am a Sikh by religion. My girlfriend, a Rajput by caste, used to
study with me in school. Her parents are forcing her to marry a less compatible boy. She is beautiful and
quite ambitious. She loves me a lot and I love her a lot. We have not had a chance to meet each other
properly for the last seven years. Our love is pure.
She cries every day. Nobody is there to help her. I can’t do anything from Canada. I need help from
India. I am worried for her. If she continues to be pressurised by her family to marry that boy, she will
definitely commit suicide.
-Jitu
57
accept him and I won’t go against them.
-Saadiyah
--
My father told my husband before our wedding that he would kill me. As a result, my husband got afraid
and suggested that we get married secretly. After we got married, my in-laws accepted me fully but the
resistance still continued from my parents’ side.
For the past eight years now, we have no relationship except that I call them up and ask them about
their health. Both my husband and I were well-established engineers even before we got married. None
of my relatives wanted to help me before or after the wedding as my father is supposedly a rich man in
his circle. My father thinks I have no right to comment on his decisions.
-Asmi
--
After three years of being in a relationship with my colleague, I told her mother that I wanted to marry
her daughter. I also told her that my family is a well-educated family and that I work in a well-known IT
company and earn a good salary.
Her mother asked me about my caste and was shocked when I said ‘Chambhar’. They are Brahmins.
When she heard that word, her behaviour towards me changed. She said, “How dare you think about
marrying my daughter? You may be a friend but it doesn’t mean that you can marry her. We don’t
believe in untouchability but our society will not treat us well if both of you marry. You and your family
might be celebrating that a Brahmin girl is coming to your family.”
In my whole life, I had never experienced untouchability. Also, I never thought that people from
Chambhar community can be considered low for working on things like shoe-making. I don’t
understand what the hell is wrong with the word ‘Chambhar’ that makes so many of us ‘untouchable’. I
will struggle to marry her and put in all the effort. I will not marry her without my and her family’s
permission because a family includes parents and relatives, not only husband and wife.
-Ajay
--
I am a government bank employee from Delhi aged 27. I belong to the so-called Kumbhar caste and the
girl I love belongs to the so-called Tyagi family. Our nine-year-old friendship is full of compassion,
understanding and love. But the girl’s family is not ready to accept me even though her parents are
educated. We have requested them a lot but there is no mercy for both of us.
-Rohit
--
I am 24 years old and I live in Canada. I am a Sikh by religion. My girlfriend, a Rajput by caste, used to
study with me in school. Her parents are forcing her to marry a less compatible boy. She is beautiful and
quite ambitious. She loves me a lot and I love her a lot. We have not had a chance to meet each other
properly for the last seven years. Our love is pure.
She cries every day. Nobody is there to help her. I can’t do anything from Canada. I need help from
India. I am worried for her. If she continues to be pressurised by her family to marry that boy, she will
definitely commit suicide.
-Jitu
57
