Page 20 - Chupi-Todo
P. 20
L ike many other children who went through sexual abuse, the ghosts of my past
haunt me as well. Cindrella who came to your show and recounted her incident of
child abuse made me cry so hard because I went through something very similar.
My mother suffered from renal failure when I was in class 3. We had to move to
our uncle’s because she needed constant care and help. I still cannot imagine how
anyone can have the audacity to victimise a child who is already going through
the living fear of losing her mother. But it happened. A person I trusted and loved,
someone I looked up to, abused me, and I remember screaming from the inside, not
knowing what to do. I felt helpless. How could I let my mother know what I was
being subjected to when she was ighting for her life? What words could I say to my
father without drowning in shame?
It went on from the age of roughly 7 to 16 until I spoke out, confronted my family
who was blind to this and dragged that person out in the open. I was the irst one to
talk about or even mention such a heinous act and its presence in my family. Even
now that person persists in my family but I feel the burden off of me because I don’t
have to pay for someone else’s crime for the rest of my life. I cannot be weighed
down with grief and fear that belongs to the abuser.
To this day, I know I probably made a very small change. My parents still do not
know what exactly happened to me. But the fear and helplessness have become my
strength and have made me a conident person.
As a girl in a patriarchal society, no one can imagine how hard it is to let out
something like this and go on without anyone pointing ingers at you. But I would
rather live in spite of making some enemies than live in a locked room, wasting the
precious years of my life, shattered and marred.
I would be glad to spread this message across to the many children and people like
me and help them let go of these ghosts. I hope I can do that for someone some day.
And I hope that with suficient awareness, this crime ceases.
-Nazia
CHUPPI TODO! | 16| 18
CHUPPI TODO!
haunt me as well. Cindrella who came to your show and recounted her incident of
child abuse made me cry so hard because I went through something very similar.
My mother suffered from renal failure when I was in class 3. We had to move to
our uncle’s because she needed constant care and help. I still cannot imagine how
anyone can have the audacity to victimise a child who is already going through
the living fear of losing her mother. But it happened. A person I trusted and loved,
someone I looked up to, abused me, and I remember screaming from the inside, not
knowing what to do. I felt helpless. How could I let my mother know what I was
being subjected to when she was ighting for her life? What words could I say to my
father without drowning in shame?
It went on from the age of roughly 7 to 16 until I spoke out, confronted my family
who was blind to this and dragged that person out in the open. I was the irst one to
talk about or even mention such a heinous act and its presence in my family. Even
now that person persists in my family but I feel the burden off of me because I don’t
have to pay for someone else’s crime for the rest of my life. I cannot be weighed
down with grief and fear that belongs to the abuser.
To this day, I know I probably made a very small change. My parents still do not
know what exactly happened to me. But the fear and helplessness have become my
strength and have made me a conident person.
As a girl in a patriarchal society, no one can imagine how hard it is to let out
something like this and go on without anyone pointing ingers at you. But I would
rather live in spite of making some enemies than live in a locked room, wasting the
precious years of my life, shattered and marred.
I would be glad to spread this message across to the many children and people like
me and help them let go of these ghosts. I hope I can do that for someone some day.
And I hope that with suficient awareness, this crime ceases.
-Nazia
CHUPPI TODO! | 16| 18
CHUPPI TODO!
