Page 43 - index
P. 43
I am currently fighting a case against my in-laws for domestic violence and dowry. Because of my
parents and friends, I have been able to collect the strength to fight for my rights. Today, I am working
at a good post and earning for myself and I am happy, independent and free from the shackles of
embarrassments, abuse and hell.
-Sunidhi
--
My first marriage did not succeed because of my in-laws’ constant demand for dowry both before and
after the wedding. My parents and brothers got tired of meeting these demands and I became a victim of
domestic violence. I didn’t tell my parents what was happening to me as I had been told to not even
think of coming back.
I attempted suicide. I slashed my wrists and took several overdoses but all attempts failed. That’s when
a friend told me that what is most important is my life and my happiness. Eventually, I mustered up
courage and lodged a complaint to the police. My in-laws were tried and charged. I received
psychological support and became a mentally strong person.
-Lalita
--
When I got married, my father’s business was in trouble but he did all he could do for me. He gave me a
lot of jewellery too. But once I got married, my brother-in-law said to my husband, “Your father-in-law
has made a fool of you by not giving you cash.” My husband, for some reason, got convinced and started
telling me that his family was very unhappy and that I should ask my father for cash.
I was shocked. I refused to ask my father for money. One day, due to the mental pressure, I collapsed in
front of my brother and husband. That day, my husband felt so bad about it that not only did he
apologise to me but he also gave his brother a piece of his mind. It’s been more than ten years and we
are living happily. I am glad that I took a stand and said “No”.
-Ayesha
--
When I was to get married in 2003, I made it very clear to the ‘boy’ (a doctor from New York) that I
would like for both parties to contribute equally to the wedding. It was only after that agreement that I
even moved ahead with the idea of whether or not to marry the man in question. Two weeks before the
wedding, I saw the tension that my parents were under because despite all their talk of sharing equally,
my to be in-laws had not stepped up to pay for anything.
I took matters into my own hands and asked my to-be mother-in-law over the phone (politely, I might
add). The hue and cry that ensued would make someone think that I had asked this woman to kill
herself. I was told that I must be mentally ill to ask for such a thing and that I should be happy to be
marrying this woman’s son and that we should have happily paid up one crore to marry a person like her
son.
Needless to say, two weeks before the wedding, the wedding was cancelled and I thank myself every day
for the step I took towards my own happiness and independence. I moved to United States to pursue a
post-graduate degree in anthropology, met my husband (an American) and now have a three-year-old
daughter.
I continue to speak of my experience and truly believe that if a man and woman are old enough to get
married, then they are also old enough to pay for their own wedding (and this is what my husband and I
did - we had three wedding ceremonies, all for less than $2000).
-Monideepa
40
parents and friends, I have been able to collect the strength to fight for my rights. Today, I am working
at a good post and earning for myself and I am happy, independent and free from the shackles of
embarrassments, abuse and hell.
-Sunidhi
--
My first marriage did not succeed because of my in-laws’ constant demand for dowry both before and
after the wedding. My parents and brothers got tired of meeting these demands and I became a victim of
domestic violence. I didn’t tell my parents what was happening to me as I had been told to not even
think of coming back.
I attempted suicide. I slashed my wrists and took several overdoses but all attempts failed. That’s when
a friend told me that what is most important is my life and my happiness. Eventually, I mustered up
courage and lodged a complaint to the police. My in-laws were tried and charged. I received
psychological support and became a mentally strong person.
-Lalita
--
When I got married, my father’s business was in trouble but he did all he could do for me. He gave me a
lot of jewellery too. But once I got married, my brother-in-law said to my husband, “Your father-in-law
has made a fool of you by not giving you cash.” My husband, for some reason, got convinced and started
telling me that his family was very unhappy and that I should ask my father for cash.
I was shocked. I refused to ask my father for money. One day, due to the mental pressure, I collapsed in
front of my brother and husband. That day, my husband felt so bad about it that not only did he
apologise to me but he also gave his brother a piece of his mind. It’s been more than ten years and we
are living happily. I am glad that I took a stand and said “No”.
-Ayesha
--
When I was to get married in 2003, I made it very clear to the ‘boy’ (a doctor from New York) that I
would like for both parties to contribute equally to the wedding. It was only after that agreement that I
even moved ahead with the idea of whether or not to marry the man in question. Two weeks before the
wedding, I saw the tension that my parents were under because despite all their talk of sharing equally,
my to be in-laws had not stepped up to pay for anything.
I took matters into my own hands and asked my to-be mother-in-law over the phone (politely, I might
add). The hue and cry that ensued would make someone think that I had asked this woman to kill
herself. I was told that I must be mentally ill to ask for such a thing and that I should be happy to be
marrying this woman’s son and that we should have happily paid up one crore to marry a person like her
son.
Needless to say, two weeks before the wedding, the wedding was cancelled and I thank myself every day
for the step I took towards my own happiness and independence. I moved to United States to pursue a
post-graduate degree in anthropology, met my husband (an American) and now have a three-year-old
daughter.
I continue to speak of my experience and truly believe that if a man and woman are old enough to get
married, then they are also old enough to pay for their own wedding (and this is what my husband and I
did - we had three wedding ceremonies, all for less than $2000).
-Monideepa
40
