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P. 38
I got married in 2013. I used to teach at an engineering college before I got married. After my wedding,
my mother-in-law started harassing me saying that she was not satisfied with the dowry nor my looks.
My husband treats his mother as a goddess and me like a servant. He never hesitates to scold me or beat
me. I came back to my parents four months back. Since then, he has never tried to talk with me and if I
do, he just cuts the call saying that he is busy.
-Kusum
--
When my dad was trying to find a match for my sister, he was also asked for dowry by a couple of
people. However, he refused saying that his daughter was financially independent and no less than any
guy in her capabilities and a family who asks for dowry is not worthy of association with our family.
-Sonika
--
My father is a very hardworking person. He wants all of us to get a good education. Everything was fine
until my elder sister got married. Father had to spend all of his life savings on my sister’s wedding. Even
after that, we have to spend lots of money on all the festivals. We even spent huge amounts of money
during my sister’s complicated pregnancy. By this time, my father was in debt and my two younger
sisters dropped out from regular college. One of my sisters started teaching in a local school.
My father who once was a happy man now went into depression and told me so many times that he
wants to commit suicide but I always encouraged my dad that everything will be fine one day. In the
meantime, my other sister got married and all the money that we spent on her wedding was borrowed
from my uncle on interest. Now we were so much in debt that the only hope for my father was that one
day, I will start earning some money and that will help our family.
Soon, my youngest sister was to get married and we had no money. I tried very hard to get some job and
make some money but that was not enough to pay even the interest of money that we owed. By the grace
of God and with the help of my great uncle, I was able to get a US visa. I worked very hard here and it
took me five years to pay that debt and my whole sixth year’s earning we spent on my youngest sister’s
wedding.
Now we have to spend more money on her wedding because our family has a tag that their son lives in
US. I learned so much from all this that I did not take even a penny in my wedding as dowry. I wrote all
this just to explain that the dowry system in our society makes the Indian parents think that if they have
a boy, they will get dowry and if they have a daughter, they have to give dowry.
-Ramdas
--
I am 26 years old and got married in 2011. My husband is highly educated (from IIT + IIM). But his
cheap mentality unfolded in a few months when he started mentally torturing me along with his parents
by making insulting comments about the gold jewellery and other gift materials provided by my parents
during our wedding ceremony.
Once, they tactfully expelled me out of the house and demanded more gold jewellery and also asked me
to convert the non-hallmark ones into hallmark ones. I protested and hence, my husband wants divorce
from me. I even tried to go for marriage counselling and did my best to save my marriage.
-Renuka
35
my mother-in-law started harassing me saying that she was not satisfied with the dowry nor my looks.
My husband treats his mother as a goddess and me like a servant. He never hesitates to scold me or beat
me. I came back to my parents four months back. Since then, he has never tried to talk with me and if I
do, he just cuts the call saying that he is busy.
-Kusum
--
When my dad was trying to find a match for my sister, he was also asked for dowry by a couple of
people. However, he refused saying that his daughter was financially independent and no less than any
guy in her capabilities and a family who asks for dowry is not worthy of association with our family.
-Sonika
--
My father is a very hardworking person. He wants all of us to get a good education. Everything was fine
until my elder sister got married. Father had to spend all of his life savings on my sister’s wedding. Even
after that, we have to spend lots of money on all the festivals. We even spent huge amounts of money
during my sister’s complicated pregnancy. By this time, my father was in debt and my two younger
sisters dropped out from regular college. One of my sisters started teaching in a local school.
My father who once was a happy man now went into depression and told me so many times that he
wants to commit suicide but I always encouraged my dad that everything will be fine one day. In the
meantime, my other sister got married and all the money that we spent on her wedding was borrowed
from my uncle on interest. Now we were so much in debt that the only hope for my father was that one
day, I will start earning some money and that will help our family.
Soon, my youngest sister was to get married and we had no money. I tried very hard to get some job and
make some money but that was not enough to pay even the interest of money that we owed. By the grace
of God and with the help of my great uncle, I was able to get a US visa. I worked very hard here and it
took me five years to pay that debt and my whole sixth year’s earning we spent on my youngest sister’s
wedding.
Now we have to spend more money on her wedding because our family has a tag that their son lives in
US. I learned so much from all this that I did not take even a penny in my wedding as dowry. I wrote all
this just to explain that the dowry system in our society makes the Indian parents think that if they have
a boy, they will get dowry and if they have a daughter, they have to give dowry.
-Ramdas
--
I am 26 years old and got married in 2011. My husband is highly educated (from IIT + IIM). But his
cheap mentality unfolded in a few months when he started mentally torturing me along with his parents
by making insulting comments about the gold jewellery and other gift materials provided by my parents
during our wedding ceremony.
Once, they tactfully expelled me out of the house and demanded more gold jewellery and also asked me
to convert the non-hallmark ones into hallmark ones. I protested and hence, my husband wants divorce
from me. I even tried to go for marriage counselling and did my best to save my marriage.
-Renuka
35
