Page 63 - Chupi-Todo

raped other children. I wish I had reported this at that time as other kids could have
escaped. I still think I will never be able to erase these chapters of my life but I wish
I could. :(
-Syna

I am 27 years old and I work as a software engineer. For the past 12 years, I have

questioned myself about what I did. I feel like a criminal. When I was in class
9, some of my friends and my neighbour’s older brothers, all betrayed me. They
pushed me to sexually abuse children, whether it be a boy or a girl. I was a teenager
and I didn’t understand what exactly I was doing.

One day, I tried to abuse my neighbour’s 7-year-old daughter. He caught me and
took me to my parents. My parents scolded me, hit me and made me promise that
I would never do something like this again. But I think I was addicted to it. I tried
smooching my cousins as well. I was trying to kiss them and I was caught by my
mother. Then I tried to commit suicide but I failed. It was after the suicide attempt
that I decided I would never sexually abuse anyone again.

Those memories still torture me. I don’t know why I ever did those things and why
my friends and brothers forced me to do it. How could I get provoked by them? I
feel guilty each moment. I am very scared of discussing any of this with my parents.
I have no strength to ask for forgiveness.

-Krish

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