Page 23 - index
P. 23
I am a 15-year-old girl living in Bangkok and in a very educated and respected family. My parents are
the best parents in the world. But they don’t love each other. My mom and dad had such a deep conflict
that all the efforts I put in to make peace since a young age were useless. In fact, they caused more harm.
There was this one specific time when I went to their room on purpose and when asked what I was doing
there, I sweetly answered, “I don’t want both of you to fight.” The next moment, my dad slammed the
closet door. My mom started shouting at my dad. My dad pushed me out of the room and flung the door
on my face. I was stunned and tears rolled down my face.
I came down and my grandma asked me what happened. I was around 7 or 8 and I told her what
happened. As soon as I did that, she started scolding me. She told me it was all my fault and that I was
to blame for all the fights. Till today, I still believe that it is because of me that all the fights happen.
One night, the fight between my mother and father was so loud that the neighbours woke up. I was
crouching at a corner of the bed while my dad and mom were shouting, screaming and yelling. At one
point, I saw my father push my mother so hard that she fell on the floor and started crying. She was
bawling like a baby. The door was locked and my grandma was knocking on the door. My dad opened
the door and kicked my mom. I saw him punch her on the back once before my eyes closed and I fell
asleep. It’s pretty unbelievable how a child can sleep in the midst of this. I was exhausted.
The next morning, I had just woken up and started talking with my mother casually. I had forgotten
what happened the previous night. I was around nine or ten during that time. Then, I noticed the
suitcase on the floor and it was packed with clothes. I started crying. I held on to her and kept repeating,
“Please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.” My mother broke down. She started crying with me, brushed my
hair, made me put on my best dress and told me to go to sleep. I kept pulling onto her. I kept saying that
I won’t be able to stay here if she won’t stay here.
She didn’t leave. She had nowhere to go. She was alone. Four years later, he hit her again in front of me.
I was around 12 and this time, I was adamant that I will stop him. They were both in the room and he
was yelling and shouting. I ran up and opened the door. Surprisingly, he forgot to lock it. He was hitting
her with a pillow. He was crying himself. She was silent. There wasn’t a single drop of tear in her eyes.
She didn’t respond - it was like she was dead.
I just closed my eyes and shouted “Stop”. My dad looked at me, started cursing my mother in the most
obscene manner and hit her again. I shouted “Stop” again. This time, he stopped. He didn’t hit her since
but we are all still living together. My mother has nowhere to go. I understand why she is not leaving
him. But I know that if she can’t be strong, I will be. If she can’t stop him, I will. I have started
researching and finding out information about this. I will make sure this won’t ever happen again.
My abuse story might be less severe compared to that of other families. I believe I am lucky that way but
I can say that the emotional burden that I carry is incomparable. I don’t believe in ‘happily-ever-afters’
anymore. I don’t think my life is worth living but I don’t want to die leaving my mother alone. My father
is a teacher, my mother is a working woman and I study in an international school but violence still
exists. Domestic violence still exists.
-Bhakti
--
My best friend is going through hell every day because of her husband who is an alcoholic. He beats her
and says dirty things to her. Last night, he broke the windows and glasses at home and even threatened
to kill her. She had to run away for the night. Her kids are very disturbed because of this. She has now
decided to put the kids in a boarding school. They are from a well-known family. If we complain to the
police, word will spread in the whole town.
-Sajni
20
the best parents in the world. But they don’t love each other. My mom and dad had such a deep conflict
that all the efforts I put in to make peace since a young age were useless. In fact, they caused more harm.
There was this one specific time when I went to their room on purpose and when asked what I was doing
there, I sweetly answered, “I don’t want both of you to fight.” The next moment, my dad slammed the
closet door. My mom started shouting at my dad. My dad pushed me out of the room and flung the door
on my face. I was stunned and tears rolled down my face.
I came down and my grandma asked me what happened. I was around 7 or 8 and I told her what
happened. As soon as I did that, she started scolding me. She told me it was all my fault and that I was
to blame for all the fights. Till today, I still believe that it is because of me that all the fights happen.
One night, the fight between my mother and father was so loud that the neighbours woke up. I was
crouching at a corner of the bed while my dad and mom were shouting, screaming and yelling. At one
point, I saw my father push my mother so hard that she fell on the floor and started crying. She was
bawling like a baby. The door was locked and my grandma was knocking on the door. My dad opened
the door and kicked my mom. I saw him punch her on the back once before my eyes closed and I fell
asleep. It’s pretty unbelievable how a child can sleep in the midst of this. I was exhausted.
The next morning, I had just woken up and started talking with my mother casually. I had forgotten
what happened the previous night. I was around nine or ten during that time. Then, I noticed the
suitcase on the floor and it was packed with clothes. I started crying. I held on to her and kept repeating,
“Please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.” My mother broke down. She started crying with me, brushed my
hair, made me put on my best dress and told me to go to sleep. I kept pulling onto her. I kept saying that
I won’t be able to stay here if she won’t stay here.
She didn’t leave. She had nowhere to go. She was alone. Four years later, he hit her again in front of me.
I was around 12 and this time, I was adamant that I will stop him. They were both in the room and he
was yelling and shouting. I ran up and opened the door. Surprisingly, he forgot to lock it. He was hitting
her with a pillow. He was crying himself. She was silent. There wasn’t a single drop of tear in her eyes.
She didn’t respond - it was like she was dead.
I just closed my eyes and shouted “Stop”. My dad looked at me, started cursing my mother in the most
obscene manner and hit her again. I shouted “Stop” again. This time, he stopped. He didn’t hit her since
but we are all still living together. My mother has nowhere to go. I understand why she is not leaving
him. But I know that if she can’t be strong, I will be. If she can’t stop him, I will. I have started
researching and finding out information about this. I will make sure this won’t ever happen again.
My abuse story might be less severe compared to that of other families. I believe I am lucky that way but
I can say that the emotional burden that I carry is incomparable. I don’t believe in ‘happily-ever-afters’
anymore. I don’t think my life is worth living but I don’t want to die leaving my mother alone. My father
is a teacher, my mother is a working woman and I study in an international school but violence still
exists. Domestic violence still exists.
-Bhakti
--
My best friend is going through hell every day because of her husband who is an alcoholic. He beats her
and says dirty things to her. Last night, he broke the windows and glasses at home and even threatened
to kill her. She had to run away for the night. Her kids are very disturbed because of this. She has now
decided to put the kids in a boarding school. They are from a well-known family. If we complain to the
police, word will spread in the whole town.
-Sajni
20
